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Genevieve Piturro Part 1: Finding Purpose in Pajamas

Tree & Toby Season 1 Episode 24

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Join Genevieve Piturro, a former TV marketing executive turned philanthropist, as she shares her inspiring journey of finding purpose beyond conventional success. Explore the heartwarming mission of the Pajama Program, delve into leaving a legacy with the impactful story of the 'hugger,' and witness Genevieve's touching experiences gifting pajamas to children in need. Discover the profound power of giving and human connection in this enlightening episode.

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Speaker 1:

Well season greetings. Fellow perchers, it's nice to be back with you all again. I hope everybody's having a safe and enjoyable holidays. And we are privileged today to again bring a guest on to the perch with us. So allow me to take a minute to introduce Genevieve Peturo to our audience. There we go, that's what we will pipe in. We'll pipe in the applause. So a little bit of background. A little bit of background on Genevieve.

Speaker 1:

So over 25 years ago, genevieve left her job as a successful TV marketing executive and, like many of us, went looking for more, more purpose, more personal fulfillment and presumably more meaning about how she showed up in the world. And as she began that journey, the winds of purpose blew her into volunteerism and from there she found her first cause, and that was creating a sense of comfort, care and humanity through the creation of the Pajama program, which was an initiative to make sure that children of need were shown the most basic of comfort and care. The Pajama program achieved tremendous success, being showcased on Oprah and receiving tremendous worldwide recognition. And in fact, for anybody who's seen, it was done in 2007, over 32,000 pajamas were donated by the folks in the Oprah audience. So I'm going to challenge our audience to come up with twice that much, so okay. It demonstrated that it's not necessarily the magnitude of the goal, but the value derived from it and how much better the world is as a result of volunteerism and causes such as this.

Speaker 1:

Genevieve is the first to say that, while pajamas were her purpose, everybody needs to find their own pajamas, and I know mine had been lost for years, but I don't think that's what she meant by it. But it's an analogy that speaks to you finding your purpose, what drives you and what excites you and what makes you really ambitious to pursue a goal, accomplish and share with the world. And over the last 25 years, genevieve has spread the message of finding purpose in one's life, acting with passion and plugging into the power of one another to achieve great things individually and, ultimately, for the world that we all share. So we are blessed to have Genevieve join us today on the Perch to dive deeper into these ideas and how we can all live with purpose. So welcome to the Perch.

Speaker 2:

Thank you very much. That was beautiful, that introduction. I'm so touched by that.

Speaker 1:

And I'm pleased to say, chat GPT did not write it, so good job.

Speaker 3:

So first of all, I need to fangirl out for a minute, and I've already told you this privately. I am just grateful that you're here. I'm grateful that I get to share, and we get to share, this message with you in the world. I'm just excited about your story and who you are. So, in your words, toby did a lot to kind of set you up and tell you a story.

Speaker 2:

But if there's anything else you want to add before we really get into this, no, I mean, I really want everyone listening to know that I had no idea that I had a purpose. You know, I thought purpose was reserved for the famous people who did big things, you know, einstein and Alexander Graham Bell and Deepak Chopra and Oprah, of course and I just thought the rest of us were lucky enough to get a job that we liked. But it's so not true, it's. It's. I say this, and I say this almost every day. Everybody needs to know and feel that we're here for a reason that's different than anybody else's, and we really have to. It's part self confidence, right, part feeling worthy. We all struggle with those words, but everybody does, because I would never believed it if I didn't have that one aha moment.

Speaker 3:

So let's talk about that, because I really want to get into purpose. I know I fervently and whole heartedly believe that everyone has a purpose, but let's get to you and then you know Toby can share his thoughts and opinions. What led you to that, Since you believe that purpose was only called out for special people? What led you to your purpose and what drove you to expand that and the possibility of it being for all?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, Thank you, I'd be happy to. Well, I, like many of my friends and colleagues, and probably yours too, was always asked you know, what do you want to do when you get out of school? Do you want to go to school? What kind of job do you want? What is your career? And those are the words that you know. I centered my thoughts around career, job, you know, making sure I could pay my bills and, of course, I wanted to like my job, you know. But never once did anyone use the P word. And so to me watching Mary Charlie Moore.

Speaker 2:

As a young girl, especially one I was raised, first born of four in a very, very traditional Italian family my father came off the boat, expected me. Really, I want to go to college, great, but married and have kids. You know that was the tradition. But I would sneak down and watch Mary Charlie Moore and she had the glamorous, fun, exciting life that I thought. That would be so great, you know, sort of break out of the traditional role and live on my own and have that life that she had. So that's what I thought would be a fun, exciting life and a great job. So that's the path I started to take, which you know to my parents dismay caused a lot of friction and difficulty because I wasn't getting married and I wasn't having those kids and climbing corporate ladder was not something they thought would be, you know, a fulfilling life for me. But I did, and for 12 years, you know I can say I was, I felt like Mary China Moore. I had all the things she had and I was in a male dominated world, learning how to be, you know, a leader and make it.

Speaker 2:

And what happened that brought that P word finally sort in the periphery, still not front and center, was one day in this crazy workaholic life in Manhattan, in a quiet moment, I heard a voice in me and I'm pointing here to my heart because I know these voices in our head. All right, there was not that. A quiet voice asked me a question that I clearly heard and that question was if this is the next 30 years of your life, is this enough? And it stopped me cold. I'd never, I'd never thought about the value of what I was doing. I never thought about the end of, you know, a long career.

Speaker 2:

I never thought of anything that that question brought up in me and I really took seconds and automatically. I felt no, because I'm alone. If I stop it and stop working, I'm alone. When, in my quiet time and in 30 years I'm going to be alone, and what will it evolve, stood for, except making other people rich, I have pretty things. That emptiness came crashing down on me and I realized very soon that, although I didn't want all the traditional things that my parents hoped I'd want, I did miss having children in my life and I went looking for a way to bring children into my life, and that's what led me to that emergency shelter. That is where it all began.

Speaker 3:

So before we get in, did you have a question? Oh, I'll remember.

Speaker 1:

Well, I was just going to ask because you brought up a very interesting point, which is I'm going to guess that we're probably in the same demographic or relatively close enough, because the things that you said all resonated with me. Well, you're graduating from high school, it's now time to go to college, you're getting out of college Mary Tyler Moore, exactly.

Speaker 1:

And everything was very regimented. Today's kids are very different. Does your message resonate better with them, or do they look at go, of course, that's just the way it is now. I mean because to you and I what you're talking about, because I had the same voice in my head or in my heart, for different reasons, a more social perspective of my life. But how does your message get delivered to the millennials? Do they just look at it and say, well, that's obvious, you can just go, do whatever you want?

Speaker 2:

Well, some it's a mix. It's a mixed situation for them because a lot of them had parents like us who don't understand right when they say, well, I want to do something I love, I want to do it, I want to wake up every morning and it might take me a while and I might try something you never heard of. That's not a job, that's already just, you know, just with a description. And it's hard for them to then justify sort of this rebellious streak when it seems so rebellious, right. But I talk about balancing that because I can understand that. But in the end you really have to know yourself and I think we all have come out of COVID realizing that we have to take another look.

Speaker 2:

People are age and an answer is this okay for the next 30 years, because a lot of us have many more years to go, and I think parents are coming around to it. I think that's making it a little bit easier for the kids, but I don't know if they use purpose as much as I want to do what I want to do. It's the same thing. It makes them feel good, they feel like that's natural for them. They were born to do that. But purpose is a little bit bigger than just picking something that you love to do. I think purpose is part of the general giving back to the greater good, part of building a legacy from the age of 20, not, you know, only when you're gone. I think it's bigger than doing what you love. But, yes, purpose comes from finding what it is that you love to do and then sharing it to make the world a better place.

Speaker 3:

I think, and also too and before I get to my question for you specifically, that came out of your statement. I think it's important for people to realize and that's what I say. I really want to dive deeply into purpose and the difference, because it's so many people are lost that just the, the mere word which your purpose, give people anxiety. For some people like, what do you mean? What my purpose is? And I think it's greater too, and I and I know your exercise you talk about it's a difference. And you loving something. For me, this is just my interpretation thereof. It's a difference. And and you loving something and have passion about something, I really believe your purpose has to be connected to someone else, meaning, okay, if my purpose is all self-facing and me myself and I, and this is what I love but if my purpose isn't connected to bringing some good into the world of the universe or to helping someone else, even if my purpose is to cook, that's great and it's not self-serving, but I'm feeding people and people are happy when I'm feeding. So I think it's important when people do their purpose work and not to get too far ahead, and we're going to talk about that, that it's like it when you get there, is it connected to something greater than yourself?

Speaker 3:

But it's something you said that was so simplistic and I and and I think it was kind of understated the power in it, because you talked about having a busy life and living in Manhattan and along this journey, this powerful, thought-provoking questions came to you about if this is it 30 years from now. But I think we left off the part with in order for that voice for you to hear it, that moment there had to be a level of stillness, and so when we're in a busy time and everyone's going disconnected I even put this out to friends and family to do your exercise, and you call for 90 minutes and we'll get into that too, and it was like 90 minutes, that's a lot. And then one person said, when I think about it, you know I was on Instagram for 90 minutes, but we're so busy. So I'm saying to you and it may be an unfair question, because it was a while ago that this, you had this epiphany. What caused you to be still?

Speaker 2:

you know, I wish I could tell you I meditated. I never did. I know that it was rare that I was alone in my apartment for an hour and a half. I remember thinking, okay, I don't have anything to do, everything's clean, and I was just sitting. I don't even know if I was flipping through a magazine, so I didn't plan a meditation. It was probably always bubbling up in me but I just didn't pay attention. And because of whatever universal godlike forces said, take the second, take the moment, send her the message, listen to yourself, because I have no explanation as to why in that moment, other than it was a quiet afternoon and I was alone.

Speaker 1:

Now I meditate, then never you mentioned something before which I think is interesting and people tend to think sometimes it's lofty that it is. You mentioned the term leaving a legacy. Now, for some people, leaving a legacy might be I want a building named after me. Some people might say, I want this. Can't leaving a legacy be actually a relatively small step, but it just means a lot to an awful lot of people yes, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

There's a woman I'll always, you know, I always think of her that would stand was since you call the hugger. Did you hear about her years ago? You know the line of people that formed and all she did was hug people and it was heart heartbreaking to see how many people wanted a hug from a stranger. Now this was about 15 years ago. It's, it's just. It's just a beautiful, a beautiful thing. You see it sometimes in the news. Children, you know, do it. They are naturally loving and they can do a small, a small thing and it grows into something big. Seniors do things and people remember the smallest things. Yes, buildings are great, they leave a legacy and we need them, but it can be a small, a small gesture that you, you, it's your signature gesture.

Speaker 3:

It's funny. You mentioned that. I know someone and her smile radiates and you can have a bad day and if she walks in a room you just shake it off. It's like your purpose and I've said that to her. I was like your purpose is your smile, like when, when you come in a room, it's something about your smile that puts everyone at ease, that something so simple can make such a big difference. So like I can really have a bad day in the office and I see this person and she smiles and you know I have to smile back.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, and you tell people probably hopefully before she's gone, but certainly both when she's here when she's gone. She always had a smile and everyone will say, yes, she did beautiful and we alluded to it.

Speaker 3:

But if you can give the listeners a little more insight of how you got to the pajamas in, I'll finish the story, yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

So I remembered in that moment, thinking how could I bring children into this crazy life I have? I remembered seeing a news report that we've all seen several times, unfortunately, where a child is heard in the home they're supposed to be cared for in. So the police and the social workers were called and they took the children out and brought them to an emergency shelter. And I remember that because one of those times had been recently and I called the police and I said where do you bring these, these children? And they said there are certain emergency sensors. Every city has them. And so he told me about one or two and I thought, okay, I saw this at night. The children were taken out at night. Maybe I could go there and read after work. And I called. Now I always say pre-911, you could do this, you could call up and you can say what I said. I'm a nice person, can I come and read to the children at night? And they would say something, hopefully, like they said to me oh, you sound like a nice person, that would be lovely, a little different now.

Speaker 2:

So I went in in my business suit and I sat on the floor and I did, did not know what to expect at all. It was a tattered rug. There were no, no chairs for big people, just a couple small little stools for kids. And I sat on the floor and I I saw them at the door, little faces, and the staff brought in about nine, ten, twelve children In an instant. I could see that they this was an emergency shelter, so they didn't have a lot of time to get these kids groomed and, you know, and clean. So they needed to sort out paperwork and everything. So they used me I was happy to be used to read stories to them. So the children sat in front of me and I could see some of them crying, some of them were, you know, not clean and in swelled clothes and they were just trying to keep them quiet and calm. And I read story after story and there was no, they didn't say anything. The children looked at me you know glass eyes, and I didn't. I was not prepared emotionally because I was just, I was just stunned.

Speaker 2:

And then they took the children away and this happened, you know, I went once a week and then I started going twice a week, different kids and finally I was wondering where do they take these children to go to sleep, because I knew that it wasn't a long-term facility. So I followed one night to where they were taking this group of about a dozen kids, and the room they took them in was equally bare and they had several cots and futons. Two or more children up on one surface, huddled together in the same clothes they've been wearing. Some of them were crying and I was just. I was just staring and and thoughts of memories of my mom and we were four kids each had two girls and two boys in the bedrooms and she sat at our beds and she read our stories and she tucked us in and she gave us snacks and we giggled and she, of course, we had pajamas, and that's what stood out when I saw these children wiggling, trying to get comfortable. Some of their clothes were tight and I don't know how long they've been wearing them.

Speaker 2:

So I asked, as they ushered me back to the door, can I bring some pajamas next time? That's, and I remember the moment and I remember myself saying that was a weird, a weird question, but she said that would be lovely. No one thinks of pajamas. So I brought pajamas. I was so excited I brought a whole bunch of no one would be left out. All the sizes that I could carry.

Speaker 2:

And after I went to the children, I put them out and I started to hand them out and there was a little girl who was so, so afraid of me, halfway in the line and I knelt down. I tried to give him to her and she just kept shaking her head no, no, no, and backing up. The other kids would take them quietly and a staff person would bring them to that bedroom. And this little girl, same thing. She wanted to watch me. Every time I tried to go over she. She was so afraid she just backed up and she just said no, no, no. That's all she had said ever. So finally I saw her watching when all the kids were gone and she was still standing watching me.

Speaker 2:

I went over with the same pink pajamas I had put on my shoulder for her and I knelt down again and I tried to explain these. You could keep these pajamas. They're so soft, you want to feel them. They're pink and you have some pink in your shirt, don't? You want to take your pajamas?

Speaker 2:

And that's when she leaned in and she whispered what are these? What are pajamas? And she pointed to the table and and I looked up at the staff person because I thought she didn't say what are pajamas and the staff person mouths to me she doesn't know what pajamas are. None of them do and she just looked at me the little girl, and I didn't even know how to answer her and I I explained to her that she could wear these to sleep and how soft and she can wear them the next day. And the staff person took them and I was still kneeling when I saw them open the door and she had them on her. I should have the tiniest little smile and I was done. That was it. I could still see that moment. That was it. I Just couldn't. I just I couldn't believe it to date.

Speaker 1:

How many pajamas have you?

Speaker 3:

Seven and a half million seven, seven and a half million.

Speaker 2:

Throughout the US 40, some chapters Wow, isn't it overall? Yeah, yeah, sadly or not, a lot of them didn't know what pajamas were.

Speaker 1:

It's funny you tell that story tree and I talk all the time about. You know our life experiences and when I was young, I worked as a counselor at a camp in in the Berkshires Actually, it was based out of the Hudson Valley but the camp was in the Berkshires and about half of the the children that went to the camp were either from broken homes or from from group Homes and things of that nature, and I was zany. I would do crazy things with them, but every now and then I would start to break down and I'd go to the camp director. So why am I doing this?

Speaker 1:

Why am I doing all of these things when they're just going to go back to the same life that they left two weeks ago and he said because you're going to show them that there's better. You're going to show them that there is something better out there, there are people that will love them, there are people that can, that will care for them, and that it's not always going to be like that. You're showing them the art of possible and I think that's what you're saying here is I'm showing you that there are people that care and can show compassion and there is an art of possible Is that? Is that basically kind of the same spirit?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I felt that they were unloved, that they felt lonely and afraid and I wanted, I wanted them to know that they weren't alone, that somebody loved them, that it was a hug. You know, no, I wasn't allowed to hug them. That it was, it was a hug, and it was warm and comforting, especially at their most vulnerable time. You know, I mean, we have nightmares and we have relatively stable lives, I would say, and I couldn't imagine how frightened they were, not knowing what would happen tomorrow.

Speaker 3:

You know, I'm just afraid of every sound you know I could, if I could, say um, and I was hoping I didn't get choked up but um. So I think it's important because for me, and why this, this story hits so personal for me and I share a little with you when you grow up poor and you don't have, you get so determined just to take whatever you have and do the best you can with it and you don't stay in a mindset of what you don't have. And if you didn't come along for the little girl, she could have lived her whole life and not even thought pajamas were a thing and was even a necessity. And it wasn't until I heard the story too that I got emotional because, full disclosure, I didn't get a pair of pajamas until I was in my adulthood, into my. Aunt Chevy got into me in my 40s for my birthday.

Speaker 3:

I just it never dawned on me that. And it's bigger than a pajamas. It's, it's, it's bigger than pajamas. That's why you connected pajamas for purpose is one of those things where, if you try to stay in a spirit of gratitude, um, it was symbolic of something else that you know, that maybe the world or the us, or um, it was symbolic of. You know what people have every day. That you didn't have and it wasn't even on my list and didn't care, and still today I don't have pajamas, sadly.

Speaker 1:

I'll get you something christmas.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I don't.

Speaker 3:

But you know, not that I need them, but it when I told you it was so foreign for me. When I got him in my 40s I was like, oh cool, she got me pajamas and I thought like it was really an experience and it wasn't again until I got that in my early 40s, until the pedant this is a true story the pandemic. I bought several pair of pajamas on amazon Because people were working from home and not I was like that looks comfortable, it looks. I didn't know how to buy them. I thought, because I seen them and they looked baggy, that I was supposed to buy them bigger. And they were like you and me can get an easy pajamas.

Speaker 3:

But you know, it's, it's uh, it's one of those touching things. The purpose behind a pajamas is so big, it's like what is that thing? That you see people and you saw them. You didn't just see their situation, you didn't just see children in need. You saw these children in need that had a need that it even it was a need that they. They know they need food, shelter, but it's this thing to give them home, want a connection. So you know, I, I saw it.

Speaker 2:

But but I felt it. I felt her pain and I think everybody when I when I got the nerve up to tell people Because there's a whole piece of me that said, what am I doing? I have a mortgage, how, how can I Not care about my job? What happened to me, that whole piece but I felt her pain. You know, I don't know if I've had a past lifetime as a, as an orphan. I don't know why I felt it and I think that's a universal feeling and fear that we will or might be alone and unloved. We all have those scars of one in one way or another.

Speaker 2:

And I felt hers and so many people like you started to get emotional. There's something in that that is that is so wrong that she should feel less than that, she should feel afraid, that she should not feel loved, that this is the first time she's feeling Loved. You know, I had a good friend who runs a big group home and years ago he and I were talking about my work, his work. I said you know what the number one Emotion is that these kids feel? And I said what I felt loneliness, fear. He said heartbreak.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you kind of mentioned that a second ago. Do you believe that you're putting something like this together, creates kind of this, pay it forward, or other people look and say, well, while jennifes passion may have been a pajama program, mine is I don't know teaching basketball to kids in the inner city or it's it's handing out, you know. Do you see that? Have you seen that? Have you had people contact you and say what you did motivated me to do this?

Speaker 2:

Constantly big, big time. After Oprah got lots of letters and emails for people asking to talk with me, they had an idea.

Speaker 1:

I hear she's a big thing With that. I hear hope where she's a big thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. And people did they. They wrote and said you know, I'm starting this, I want to start this. Yes, people, thankfully, people do they, they and people knit things all the time, right. So people would say I'm gonna knit Hats, I'm gonna knit night caps, I'm gonna do this. Yes, I hope so, and I love to hear that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I wanted to ask you a question about that, and this may not be in your lane, but do you believe things like that are native in our DNA, or is this a muscle that we need to exercise? Do we just naturally have that want to give back to have a purpose, or is that something that, if we don't exercise, we'll actually lose in that monotrophy?

Speaker 2:

Good question. I think we have it, but I think, sadly, there's so much pressure on us that we fill our minds with things that aren't as important as we think and I think we just have so much trivial nonsense in our lives that occupies the space that there's not enough room to think of anybody, but our problems ourselves getting past this obstacle, paying this bill, dealing with this person. Sadly, I think that that gets buried, but I do think it's there because we see it all the time. We see people do extraordinary things, people without the means. People have never done it before. So I'd like to say yes, I think it's there and I think it's buried under all the nonsense that, unfortunately, we fill our heads with.

Speaker 1:

And I know in the second half, just real quick in the second half. I'd like to talk about that because I know a lot of people probably listening going oh well, it's easy for Genevieve to say she was an executive, she probably put away all this money and she could do all that. So let's talk on the next week's.

Speaker 2:

Anybody who thinks that, call me. I'll send you a free copy of my book. There you go. I want to major debt.

Speaker 1:

I bet I want to talk about that later on, because I think a lot of people will do that. Everybody else has advice for everybody else and if you've listened to any of our podcasts, we'll always talk about it. You should go do this and you should go do that, and I want to talk about the fact that you don't have to. It's not an all or nothing.

Speaker 3:

And I want to get back and address, because it's big, what you said and I'm a firm believer of you said. Is that a muscle or are we like? Do we come to the planet with that? What life has taught me? What I know for sure, and especially in the context with your scenario, you laid out a well-told story where you had this expectation from your family of husband, kids, and when that was not your path, you took that moment and you focused their love and attention with another, on children, who didn't have that love and attention and care, and you poured into what the expectation was for you and to them and what that does for us. And I know for sure if we can get past and I told this as much as I can we all have something to give and so it is not money. And if your purpose you think of tied into money, then that's not a purpose, it's not money, it's not financial. We all I have had experiences with an unhoused person on the street and we changed each other's life in a moment just by seeing each other connecting and having that.

Speaker 3:

I didn't have money once. I was just a quick story. I was traveling, I took the L, you took the train. I was taking the train and I grew up in the inner city of Chicago, so I know the people would always ask for money and when you're street smart they always tell you don't pull out any money. Well, I wasn't rich so I never had a lot to pull out, but I kept change for people who asked because they always ask.

Speaker 3:

And that day I had absolutely nothing. I was, I had absolutely nothing. Never carried a lunch to work, never. And that day, for whatever reason, chance, I carried a lunch and when he stopped me I had nothing to give and his eyes looked so sad and I went back to him and I said I am so sorry, I truly don't have anything, but how can I help? Is there anything that I can do? I was like they had. They called him transverse to ride on a bus. Back then I said I have a transfer, he goes.

Speaker 3:

No, I said oh wait, I actually bought a lunch today and I'm not used to taking one and I forgot it. And I said I have an orange. And when I said it, this man cried and he said you have no idea he goes. I wanted an orange and I went past the market today and the display had the per pound sign and I had like 50 cents and I didn't know if that was. I don't want to be embarrassed Because I couldn't figure out what the if this 50 cent could give me one orange, or I didn't have enough and he cried and I cried and I said, see, when we are in tune, when we get past our wants and our needs and we show up for people and they show up for us, that's how things are blessed. So I don't want anyone. I pray that everyone will leave this podcast and say we all have purpose and sometimes our purpose is situational. I packed a lunch and it wasn't about me, that was for that man that day.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, yeah, I mean, we can wake up every day, simply say what I. What I try to say every day is just show me how I can help today, that's all, and then go about your life, and every day can be different, just like you said.

Speaker 1:

So, as we wrap up this first section, first of all, thank you for joining us. You'll join us again on the next section here, but I want to both thank you and both curse you, because I think pajamas have been great for children, but I'm really tired of seeing adults wear them on airplanes. So, while I thank you for part of it, I think you've started this horrible trend of fashion apparel for airports. So, that being said, we'll continue on a couple of different points. On the second section, you want to say something.

Speaker 3:

I do I do Before we close, that I want to say too I guess I really want for anyone to see this, to make sure they see the second episode when Genevieve gives us the tools to help us find our purpose. I did the exercise. I'm open to share what I discovered. Just please, please, please, make sure you come back and watch this. I think it's going to be enlightening and insightful for all. And so we meet again.

Speaker 1:

We'll talk to you again soon.

Speaker 3:

Thank you Maybe.

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